he wants to bone in the snuggie
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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