Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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