Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
