just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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