No stitches, just platelets and will power
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize