we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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