Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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