Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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