I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
