I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
