If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
