Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
