his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
