Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
