so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
