Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
