Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
