Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
