let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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