did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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