Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
