Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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