so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
