We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
