so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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