Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
