i don't like sucking hair
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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