I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
