the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
