Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
