Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
