I got chris browned last night
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize