I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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