I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
