Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
