it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
