guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
