hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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