New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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