Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
