It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
