Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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