Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
