now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
