come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
