My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
