Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
