You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize