Can Purell be used as lube?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
