I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
