Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Actions speak louder than pants.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
