I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
