Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
