Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
