you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
