NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
