Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I supernannyed him into submission
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
