The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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