Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
