South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
please come you make the beer taste better
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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