Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
