Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
