walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
