somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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