What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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